Once again Soraya your ability to incisively deconstruct gender roles and the nuances of their normalization and coercion online astounds! I really appreciate you!
Great piece. I think what often is left out of the discussion is the way that calls to "traditional" "feminine" (passive, dependent) roles arises directly from the exhaustion felt by so many of us as women who have actively engaged in careers and intellectual activities, only to find ourselves unsupported in relationships because of men's conditioning to NOT pick up the slack and be equal.partners in caregiving, parenting, household management. It's true that this is exhausting and often infuriating - and results, again, from the stubborn consistency of patriarchy undermining progress on equality. But young women are sucked in by the story that if only you step back from any independent achievement and life, you'll be held and loved and swaddled in care.
I was at a protest yesterday, and I noticed two young, blonde women (separately) flip us off. It was chilling. I wanted to grab them and say, "They are coming for you. They hate you."
i loved this 🥰 definitely been up close & personal with this kind of stuff. i genuinely like cooking & homemaking (but im a hearth witch), i’ve seen how quickly learning how to season a cast iron skillet veers into some weird, gender-essentialist nonsense that is quite off-putting.
Fascinating analysis! Heaven forbid the answer to women’s exhaustion is for men to pitch in more when it comes to domestic duties, and for them to stop acting like one of the kids women also have to take care of. This exact dynamic is what ended my first marriage; if I’m doing everything, including earning more money, what do I need him for?
This is brilliant! Thank you so much. And I was feeling this so hard the other day when I was mindlessly scrolling Free People feeling the ick over prairie dress after prairie dress and my desire to click buy because wouldn’t it be nice to wear a pretty dress whilst making my effing sourdough loaf. It’s not the prairie dress itself, though, it’s what the dress represents and that there is a particular body size, ability, skin color, gender identity and sexual orientation etc. that is required in order to embody compulsory femininity within patriarchy! Thank you thank you thank you again!!
I feel you. I am full of guilt and regret after *accidentally* buying a horribly overpriced prairie item yesterday (over-hastiness and lack of familiarity with the evilness of the
“Shop” app). I embody very few elements of traditional femininity, apart from living rurally, but there I was daydreaming about floating around in this stupid white thing in summertime, and now I am wasting time chasing my bank to dispute the payment. Even among the educated and aware, the programming is deep and powerful. Stay strong!
I've also seen this ideology in the so-called spiritual movement, where women are infantilized, encouraged to indulge in fragility, and to follow a guru--often a rule spouting man whose motives are control.
Once again Soraya your ability to incisively deconstruct gender roles and the nuances of their normalization and coercion online astounds! I really appreciate you!
Many thanks. Now I am off to fix my inevitable typos smh lol
I can’t figure out how to do this after I’ve already posted. If you have a tip, please advise!
:)
Great piece. I think what often is left out of the discussion is the way that calls to "traditional" "feminine" (passive, dependent) roles arises directly from the exhaustion felt by so many of us as women who have actively engaged in careers and intellectual activities, only to find ourselves unsupported in relationships because of men's conditioning to NOT pick up the slack and be equal.partners in caregiving, parenting, household management. It's true that this is exhausting and often infuriating - and results, again, from the stubborn consistency of patriarchy undermining progress on equality. But young women are sucked in by the story that if only you step back from any independent achievement and life, you'll be held and loved and swaddled in care.
I was at a protest yesterday, and I noticed two young, blonde women (separately) flip us off. It was chilling. I wanted to grab them and say, "They are coming for you. They hate you."
i loved this 🥰 definitely been up close & personal with this kind of stuff. i genuinely like cooking & homemaking (but im a hearth witch), i’ve seen how quickly learning how to season a cast iron skillet veers into some weird, gender-essentialist nonsense that is quite off-putting.
Fantastic piece, thank you so much!
Fascinating analysis! Heaven forbid the answer to women’s exhaustion is for men to pitch in more when it comes to domestic duties, and for them to stop acting like one of the kids women also have to take care of. This exact dynamic is what ended my first marriage; if I’m doing everything, including earning more money, what do I need him for?
This is brilliant! Thank you so much. And I was feeling this so hard the other day when I was mindlessly scrolling Free People feeling the ick over prairie dress after prairie dress and my desire to click buy because wouldn’t it be nice to wear a pretty dress whilst making my effing sourdough loaf. It’s not the prairie dress itself, though, it’s what the dress represents and that there is a particular body size, ability, skin color, gender identity and sexual orientation etc. that is required in order to embody compulsory femininity within patriarchy! Thank you thank you thank you again!!
I feel you. I am full of guilt and regret after *accidentally* buying a horribly overpriced prairie item yesterday (over-hastiness and lack of familiarity with the evilness of the
“Shop” app). I embody very few elements of traditional femininity, apart from living rurally, but there I was daydreaming about floating around in this stupid white thing in summertime, and now I am wasting time chasing my bank to dispute the payment. Even among the educated and aware, the programming is deep and powerful. Stay strong!
I've also seen this ideology in the so-called spiritual movement, where women are infantilized, encouraged to indulge in fragility, and to follow a guru--often a rule spouting man whose motives are control.