I'm exhausted basically every day, and then people like you (/like us) show up and make it less exhausting. Thanks for sharing some of the educational burden.
Same! Exhausted. Struggling with feelings of hopelessness. But then I read something like this and remember how not alone we all are. Thank you. Just subscribed. Bring it!
I’ve been up and down on striving for Women’s Rights. At 70, I’ve personally experienced every stage of Male Supremacy. I’ve been angry, frustrated, sad, exhausted, dumbfounded and even proud of raising a very Feminist man. I’ve long puzzled about women who don’t see the whole picture and occupy a place within Male Supremacy. Women who don’t support other women are some of the staunchest “enemies”.
Male centered women or the pick me’s. Yup, saw that in the martial arts community after abuse allegations came out several years ago. These were so called liberal groups but it doesn’t matter. Unfortunately it’s everywhere, especially in the workplace.
I’m 72. Been fighting for 50 years. I’m a Gyn provider, so lots of stories. I’ve been advocating “no” in many situations. When I. was 21 and just learning what feminists needed to do about changing things, I had my first Experiences and great disappointments in other women stabbing us in the back. They enjoyed and continue to enjoy the few rights we have but couldn’t fight enough to keep them. I’m disgusted.
It is such a shame to see women or other marginalized people grasping for power within the system by perpetuating the harm of white/male supremacy onto the people that they could be finding power with by building community. It's a real doozy but I think it's an intentional part of the system.
As a mostly single mother while my four sons were growing up, I've had the opportunity to see just how powerful athletics, the military, politics, and "bro culture" were in shaping them, even when my influence was at odds with those forces. And a long tenure in corporate America gave me firsthand experience. It's daunting, sobering, and the need to counteract the effects of male supremacy couldn't be more urgent. I'll be reading your newsletter with interest, Soraya.
Thanks Julie, I had two sons the same age (yes twins no not alike just brothers) and a male spouse and wow it was hard. 🤗 to you! Humanity has at least 6 more kind male humans on our planet.
Brilliant. Can’t wait to tell my 90yr old Mum about what you’ve written and this term Male Supremacy. I hope it lands for her. We’ve been trying to find a word for what she’s lived through and couldn’t name. She is hopeful for “you young ones and what you’re doing”. Thank you.
Emma that is so nice for your mom! Mine died at 84, a lifelong misogynist of the meanest type, a Phyllis Schlaffley admirer. Now, I feel bad for my sister bc she’s a lifelong feminist of the radical type, sadly she’s also a mean narcissistic bully (I could send this newsletter to her & she’d reply back, “So what?” Sound familiar?) My mom and my sister are not me!! I’m with the women backing Soraya and her important voice.
"As a system, male supremacy is comparatively invisible. Studies show that we are all less likely to register it compared with other forms of discrimination and oppression.." YES!!! We are taught to ignore the signs and it leaves us feeling fragmented, silenced, angry (although we aren't always sure why we carry such anger!). Thank you. I'm writing a workbook for women to unsilence them(our)selves and have quoted from your book on Rage. Thank you for speaking into this!!!
You are speaking directly to me Soraya. I also wonder about similar things and feel seething anger and frustration boiling up around the current state of affaires. So happy you’ve launched this new publication to dig into and advance this subject. Subscribed ✅
I only came to feminism a little over a decade ago as an older woman. I read your book a while ago (and a lot of others) and I am enraged the moment I wake up. I'm enraged periodically throughout the day. We now live in a world where medical doctors in a medical setting will watch a woman die over the course of 40 hours because a fetus' head the size of a baseball lodged in a woman's vagina had a heartbeat. Men knew women would die and they were okay with it. They have always been okay with women dying. I will not be able to stop being enraged until this reign of terror ends and women run/own 51% of everything.
Very apt. The phrase “Male supremacy” highlights the truth of it in a way that “Patriarchy” doesn’t… because for all that “down with patriarchy” entails and despite generations of people shouting it from the rooftops, the word itself still carries connotations of its root: pater, the original father.
Every word in every language has an associated image or idea attached to it from the minute we learn it. Talk about a tree, and other people will immediately have a picture or idea of a tree in their mind. Talk about your local system of government, and people who know the word understand what you mean. Ideas are more than the word that names them.
From its etymological roots, the word “patriarchy” carries an inbuilt attached image of the Head of the Family wielding authority over his brood.
The basic concept is problematic because that image, attached to that word, exposes just how deep our unconscious programming goes. The Father is to be respected, whether he’s a “good” father, or not so good, we are taught. (Less so does our indoctrination teach us to respect the Mother, despite the images associated with that word, but that’s another essay…).
At its heart, the entire system of patriarchal power relies on every person growing up from infancy with the ingrained belief that the father is automatically worthy of our deference.
Once this idea is embedded, it requires a tacit acceptance that no matter WHAT he does, be he a clan leader or king, a politician or a religious leader, or a patient father, or simply a random male you know, he is doing all of it “FOR OUR OWN GOOD”!!
You are absolutely right. We need to stop labelling our cultural power structure with soft “family” words, and ditch that image and those ideas, because they are innacurate at best, outright gaslighting at worst.
We need to start calling the top-down lopsided hierarchical power structure we have come to accept exactly what it really is, “Male Supremacy” (in Western culture it is most specifically cisgender Anglo-Saxon male supremacy, but male supremacy exists in all countries to greater or lesser degree by dint of generations of men fighting each other to gain power, and enforcing their will on whomever they could gain that power over by violence, be it physical or social.)
And the truth is that in any supremacist culture, to paraphrase George Orwell, “all (male) animals are equal but some are more equal than others”. Those few at the top control the ones at the bottom by telling them how lucky they are that they aren’t like “those other less-human people”, even while they strip the wealth and the rights and the humanity from their own followers and adherents. Most men who benefit from these top-down systems, even the large numbers of genuinely well-meaning ones, can’t even SEE their own complicity in the system because fish don’t know water is wet. They benefit from things they don’t even know exist, and therefore struggle to understand what the rest of the non-male inhabitants of the world are trying to tell them.
The words we use MATTER, because when you change the words, it radically changes the way you look at the world! Suddenly the truth is obvious, and a whole lot less easy to explain away or justify.
Thank you! Male supremacy is so pervasive from the martial arts community to the presidency worldwide. I just subscribed and looking forward to more conversations.
When I was a stay-at-home mom, with 4 kids born in 5 years, I was in playgroups. We'd argue whether or not you could be a feminist while you were a full-time mom. I said that being a feminist is a world-view, and what does that have to do with the life circumstances I was in at that time? I raised my 3 boys and 1 girl to ALL be feminists. One guy is married, one is engaged--and our daughter is engaged. Our sons treat the females in their lives as equals because that's how their father has always treated me.
Thank you for starting this newsletter. I just heard the term “male supremacy” last week and it really resonated with me. I have so much rage towards patriarchy! Looking forward to your newsletter.
Thank you 🖤
I'm exhausted basically every day, and then people like you (/like us) show up and make it less exhausting. Thanks for sharing some of the educational burden.
I am subscribing to your newsletter now!
I really do understand. It’s very depleting. Glad to meet you here and thank you!
Same! Exhausted. Struggling with feelings of hopelessness. But then I read something like this and remember how not alone we all are. Thank you. Just subscribed. Bring it!
I’ve been up and down on striving for Women’s Rights. At 70, I’ve personally experienced every stage of Male Supremacy. I’ve been angry, frustrated, sad, exhausted, dumbfounded and even proud of raising a very Feminist man. I’ve long puzzled about women who don’t see the whole picture and occupy a place within Male Supremacy. Women who don’t support other women are some of the staunchest “enemies”.
Male centered women or the pick me’s. Yup, saw that in the martial arts community after abuse allegations came out several years ago. These were so called liberal groups but it doesn’t matter. Unfortunately it’s everywhere, especially in the workplace.
I’m 72. Been fighting for 50 years. I’m a Gyn provider, so lots of stories. I’ve been advocating “no” in many situations. When I. was 21 and just learning what feminists needed to do about changing things, I had my first Experiences and great disappointments in other women stabbing us in the back. They enjoyed and continue to enjoy the few rights we have but couldn’t fight enough to keep them. I’m disgusted.
It is such a shame to see women or other marginalized people grasping for power within the system by perpetuating the harm of white/male supremacy onto the people that they could be finding power with by building community. It's a real doozy but I think it's an intentional part of the system.
As a mostly single mother while my four sons were growing up, I've had the opportunity to see just how powerful athletics, the military, politics, and "bro culture" were in shaping them, even when my influence was at odds with those forces. And a long tenure in corporate America gave me firsthand experience. It's daunting, sobering, and the need to counteract the effects of male supremacy couldn't be more urgent. I'll be reading your newsletter with interest, Soraya.
Thanks Julie, I had two sons the same age (yes twins no not alike just brothers) and a male spouse and wow it was hard. 🤗 to you! Humanity has at least 6 more kind male humans on our planet.
Thank you for fighting the good fight with me! 💛
Brilliant. Can’t wait to tell my 90yr old Mum about what you’ve written and this term Male Supremacy. I hope it lands for her. We’ve been trying to find a word for what she’s lived through and couldn’t name. She is hopeful for “you young ones and what you’re doing”. Thank you.
Emma that is so nice for your mom! Mine died at 84, a lifelong misogynist of the meanest type, a Phyllis Schlaffley admirer. Now, I feel bad for my sister bc she’s a lifelong feminist of the radical type, sadly she’s also a mean narcissistic bully (I could send this newsletter to her & she’d reply back, “So what?” Sound familiar?) My mom and my sister are not me!! I’m with the women backing Soraya and her important voice.
"As a system, male supremacy is comparatively invisible. Studies show that we are all less likely to register it compared with other forms of discrimination and oppression.." YES!!! We are taught to ignore the signs and it leaves us feeling fragmented, silenced, angry (although we aren't always sure why we carry such anger!). Thank you. I'm writing a workbook for women to unsilence them(our)selves and have quoted from your book on Rage. Thank you for speaking into this!!!
I just subscribed. Strong feminist voices are desperately needed right now. We need to stand together in solidarity.
Strong feminist voices and no backing down!
You are speaking directly to me Soraya. I also wonder about similar things and feel seething anger and frustration boiling up around the current state of affaires. So happy you’ve launched this new publication to dig into and advance this subject. Subscribed ✅
I only came to feminism a little over a decade ago as an older woman. I read your book a while ago (and a lot of others) and I am enraged the moment I wake up. I'm enraged periodically throughout the day. We now live in a world where medical doctors in a medical setting will watch a woman die over the course of 40 hours because a fetus' head the size of a baseball lodged in a woman's vagina had a heartbeat. Men knew women would die and they were okay with it. They have always been okay with women dying. I will not be able to stop being enraged until this reign of terror ends and women run/own 51% of everything.
Thank you I’d live to restack this ❤️
Sure, I wanted to add more. I didn't know you could restack comments.
I can’t, too bad!! Just saying i’s Substack-worthy 🙂
So glad you’re here to share and articulate (as you do so well) the endless nonsense and burden of male supremacy.
Thank you! Happy to find you here, too. Just signed up!
Very apt. The phrase “Male supremacy” highlights the truth of it in a way that “Patriarchy” doesn’t… because for all that “down with patriarchy” entails and despite generations of people shouting it from the rooftops, the word itself still carries connotations of its root: pater, the original father.
Every word in every language has an associated image or idea attached to it from the minute we learn it. Talk about a tree, and other people will immediately have a picture or idea of a tree in their mind. Talk about your local system of government, and people who know the word understand what you mean. Ideas are more than the word that names them.
From its etymological roots, the word “patriarchy” carries an inbuilt attached image of the Head of the Family wielding authority over his brood.
The basic concept is problematic because that image, attached to that word, exposes just how deep our unconscious programming goes. The Father is to be respected, whether he’s a “good” father, or not so good, we are taught. (Less so does our indoctrination teach us to respect the Mother, despite the images associated with that word, but that’s another essay…).
At its heart, the entire system of patriarchal power relies on every person growing up from infancy with the ingrained belief that the father is automatically worthy of our deference.
Once this idea is embedded, it requires a tacit acceptance that no matter WHAT he does, be he a clan leader or king, a politician or a religious leader, or a patient father, or simply a random male you know, he is doing all of it “FOR OUR OWN GOOD”!!
You are absolutely right. We need to stop labelling our cultural power structure with soft “family” words, and ditch that image and those ideas, because they are innacurate at best, outright gaslighting at worst.
We need to start calling the top-down lopsided hierarchical power structure we have come to accept exactly what it really is, “Male Supremacy” (in Western culture it is most specifically cisgender Anglo-Saxon male supremacy, but male supremacy exists in all countries to greater or lesser degree by dint of generations of men fighting each other to gain power, and enforcing their will on whomever they could gain that power over by violence, be it physical or social.)
And the truth is that in any supremacist culture, to paraphrase George Orwell, “all (male) animals are equal but some are more equal than others”. Those few at the top control the ones at the bottom by telling them how lucky they are that they aren’t like “those other less-human people”, even while they strip the wealth and the rights and the humanity from their own followers and adherents. Most men who benefit from these top-down systems, even the large numbers of genuinely well-meaning ones, can’t even SEE their own complicity in the system because fish don’t know water is wet. They benefit from things they don’t even know exist, and therefore struggle to understand what the rest of the non-male inhabitants of the world are trying to tell them.
The words we use MATTER, because when you change the words, it radically changes the way you look at the world! Suddenly the truth is obvious, and a whole lot less easy to explain away or justify.
Thank you! Male supremacy is so pervasive from the martial arts community to the presidency worldwide. I just subscribed and looking forward to more conversations.
“Boy sober” is a new one on me. But quite apt in light of the 4B movement in South Korea.
Great post. Great newsletter. Grateful to have you here. Looking forward to reading your work.
So glad you’re doing this Soraya. Yes pls.
When I was a stay-at-home mom, with 4 kids born in 5 years, I was in playgroups. We'd argue whether or not you could be a feminist while you were a full-time mom. I said that being a feminist is a world-view, and what does that have to do with the life circumstances I was in at that time? I raised my 3 boys and 1 girl to ALL be feminists. One guy is married, one is engaged--and our daughter is engaged. Our sons treat the females in their lives as equals because that's how their father has always treated me.
Thank you for starting this newsletter. I just heard the term “male supremacy” last week and it really resonated with me. I have so much rage towards patriarchy! Looking forward to your newsletter.